Pale Skin Disorder
Some humorous (but serious) thoughts on Labels, on how NORMAL it is to have to accommodate our differences, and why merely being different is no reason to conclude someone is "handicapped" or "disordered".
Although I am woefully ignorant of your exact issues, I do have enormous compassion because of the many unrecognized disorders I have which also need to be formally written up in the DSM 5, when it comes out:
I have a terrible problem with Curly Hair Disorder (CHD). Some days, my Curly Hair is extremely Disordered and I can hardly get a brush through it. It was the bane of my existence for many years, in spite of how much my friends all envied me and were perming their hair to look like mine. I cannot tell you what fits my hair gave me and how much time and attention this took or how many years it took me to find an effective means to cope with being Curly Hair Disordered. It still impacts my lifestyle every single day of my life because I cannot blow dry it and, on especially cold days, this means it takes me longer than Normal People to get ready to go somewhere and accommodate my need to allow my Disorderly Curly Hair to air dry.
I also have Pale Skin Disorder (PSD). Not only have I suffered enormously from sun burn, but many people have a callous disregard for my special needs and I have had real problems with situations where, say, my olive skinned sister will say "Let's go to the pool with the kids" at 1:30 in the afternoon. And when I say "I would really rather wait at least half an hour" she just doesn't understand. Once, when I could not get her to understand, I did end up with a sunburn and she did notice my problem and thereafter she was more considerate of waiting until later in the day to go to the pool and quit acting like I merely had Party Pooper Syndrome. As everyone knows, Party Pooper Syndrome is far more socially stigmatizing than PSD. And although I also have that, I think if I only had an official diagnosis for my CHD and PSD both, then I could avoid social situations whenever I needed to in deference to my Party Pooper Syndrome without admitting that I have this devastating disability which is so stigmatizing. I could simply say "I can't go to the pool party due to my PSD." or I could be late to a party and excuse it by citing my CHD and how long it takes me to deal with my Disordered Hair.
I have several other disorders which have made my life very difficult. But I am not sure precisely what the correct diagnosis is in some cases. The problem I have with finding clothes which fit is very complex and may be impacted by the interaction of several disorders. First off, I am very tall for a woman. I am almost as tall as your average man. But shopping in the men's department doesn't work because their clothes are cut different and don't fit properly and there is also a social stigma to wearing excessively masculine clothes. I am already self-conscious about being tall and when I was younger I did feel that this meant I wasn't very "feminine". It took me many years to come to terms with the fact that I could be both tall and feminine. It would be very damaging to me to undo all that progress. So buying men's clothes is a terrible idea.
Yet, even though it is clear that being tall is a problem, I don't know if it is a better diagnosis to get labeled with Tall Woman Syndrome (TWS) or if Not of Average Height Woman Syndrome (NAHWS) would be a label that affords me better treatment because I know that Sufferers of Short Woman Syndrome (SWS) also have enormous difficulty shopping for clothes. Yet I do not know if Sufferers of SWS need the same treatment as sufferers of TWS. I find it all so confusing.
Additionally, when I was very thin, I had different issues shopping for clothes than I do now. So, is Tall, Thin Woman Syndrome a separate syndrome or not? Do we merely call them Sufferers of TWS and vary their treatment to accommodate the fact that not all Sufferers of TWS have the exact same problems? And if we start a foundation for giving aid to women with TWS and there is not enough aid to go around, do we only seek to help women who are Severely Impaired or is it done on a first come, first serve basis? What is Severe Impairment anyway? Is it women too poor to buy the expensive brands which fit better? This was a big issue for me when we had less money. How poor is "too poor to buy the expensive brands"? Perhaps it has nothing to do with income. Perhaps you are only Severely Impaired if you are Extremely Tall. What is Extremely Tall? Is it 5' 11" and above? That is such an arbitrary number and I am concerned that with the trends that people are growing taller, on average, with each generation, in a few generations, that might be a Normal Height for a woman. So, perhaps we should only treat women in the top 1 percent for height and then we can stay current with the needs of the Severely Impaired, as society changes and average height changes, and not wind up with an excessively broad definition of Tall For A Woman, which would make this a completely meaningless label and interfere with meeting the needs of those who really are Impaired and those who are Coping Just Fine, Thanks.
I could go on...and on...and on. I have thought, for example, about my Excessively Beautiful Disorder and whether it would be more accurately called Excessive Attention From Men Syndrome. But that brings me to whether I had Excessive Attention From White American Men Syndrome when I was thinner but now have Excessive Attention From Men Of Color Syndrome now that I am not so thin and the cultural bias of White American Men makes me "invisible" to most of them, in spite of still being beautiful. Well, but that brings up a new issue: Maybe I am not disordered and maybe it is a social thing.
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Gifts of Another Kind
Massage as a Metaphor
On Manners
An Open Palm...
When One Door Closes...
Pack Your Sense of Humor
Pale Skin Disorder
Redwoods and Gazelles
Discipline
My Priorities
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