Socially Deaf
I think it is myth that Aspie's have no feelings for others. I have not found that to be true at all. My oldest child is incredibly sensitive to my moods and incredibly sweet about encouraging me to vent when I am upset about something totally unrelated to him because he distinguishes so clearly between me being upset with him and me being upset about something else. He floors me with how diplomatic he can be and the subtle things he picks on, etc. BUT: he has been practically glued to me since he was born and he knows me incredibly well. He does not appear nearly so sensitive in his interaction with other people -- not even other family members. I think the fact that he and I have the same medical disorder makes it much easier for him to have empathy for me.
The most useful analogy I have come up with for dealing with my husband and sons is that it is like they are socially "deaf" and I have to teach them a social version of "lip reading". Naturally, they are better at "lip reading" when the person is someone well known to them and is cooperating (if someone is trying to read your lips and you turn your head aside, cover your mouth, chew on a pencil while talking, etc, they cannot decipher it). So, while they can learn to compensate, they will always remain somewhat vulnerable to missing cues and such in new relationships or stressful situations. But teaching them to "read lips" makes them much more able to connect with people generally and makes their handicap much less of an impairment -- much less socially isolating -- although it will never completely go away. I haven't found a cure for "social deafness", but I am very pleased with my efforts to teach "social lip reading" as a means to cope with it.
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Asperger's Syndrome: A Working Hypothesis
- Giftedness
- Personality Type
- Sensory Issues
- Compounding (Biomedical) Factors
- Eccentric Geniuses
- The Big Disconnect
- Socially Deaf
- Time Blind
- Rapid Brain Growth and Vitamin Deficiencies
- Different Minds
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